Hello Reader. I hope this blog is finding you safe and healthy. Hopefully with loved ones in lockdown or practicing social distancing.

I’ve been at a bit of a loss of what to write you all this month. I was hoping to having racing stories to tell you.  About a week ago I was in Barcelona airport when I received a phone call from my DS telling me not to get on my flight to Strade and go back to Girona. Only 2 days later I had a flight back to the USA. All of the racing in Italy had been canceled for the month.

Soon later the racing through April had been canceled.

After racing Het Nieuwsblad, I was feeling really good. Mentally I felt strong. Stronger than I have ever felt in a spring classic before. I felt a similar strength in Australia but I felt unsure if I could achieve that head space in the hectic Belgium races. Once the race had ended I was really pleased to see that I could achieve that headspace. It’s taken a lot of work with a sports psychologist and time on my part to come up with strategies to achieve a sense of “calm” within myself while navigating the “crazy” of a bicycle race. Finishing NH I felt even more excitement for one of my favorite races on the calendar, Strade Bianche.

Only to find our less than a week later that I would not be competing in it anytime soon. For us athletes if feels like such a strange strange feeling. My whole focus for training is to race. To be the best athlete and then play the game.

Now that I’m home. I’m feeling a little lost without a job. Though through the feeling of uncertainty of how to spend my day I feel a strong sense of gratefulness. Grateful for the job I do hold and that I don’t need to be stressed about loosing work and money during this time. Grateful for what I believe to be a large sense of balance in my life. While cycling is my job and my focus, I am fortunate to really be able to grasp that it is sport, and sport is solely entertainment for spectators. We are bill boards for companies to advertise their product.

While it is ok to feel a moment of sadness and some anger to the amount of hours I spent slogging away on the trainer to prepare for the races that are now gone. It’s important for me to remain calm and with good perspective. Many people will suffer from this virus in more than one way.

Health and safety of everyone is much more important than bike races and I fully agree with the decisions the experts are making.

I’m home and now that amount of time keeps getting extended. I don’t think my dog, Wallace, minds.


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